Bang ~~ ?

lolz..
erm these few days also lazy to write .. or can say that i had ntg to write about ..
but recently i found out something ...
i saw the newspaper by 31 th July
that TVXQ is going to disband ...
aiks
what a shocking news..
i think this news quite shock all of their fans.
but about more of their news , i had no idea..

aiks...
i getting more worry le...
so many butterfly at my stomach ne ...
assignments... work...
aiks... more scare also assignments..
so many assignments to scare of ne..
Moral ..(group assignments ) got 2..
Account 1 individual assignments.
Econs assignments coming soon
BMA coming soon
ESC 1 grop assignments EWE ... aiks ...

AHHHHHH !!
i wan to be free le.. i damn hate to be a busy life...
y the shit from the start i choose this road !
but now what to do ? who to blame ? blame myself la...
and these few day don't know y my stomach not feeling well again..
this morning , can say whole morning also stomach ache ..
and now night time feel likes got gastric.. T.T
what is happening to me ?
i very sad ne...
is it bzs of these negative thought giving myself negative pressure ?
just feel very complicated or to be say that i am really lost in no where ...
no direction or anything....
or is it that i just lack of love or caring ?

why always people say that i am happy ..
but actually
i am sad always
but u can't c it in my heart ...
my soul is actually very down...
the smile on the face somehow doesn't means that i smile then i am happy or feeling ok..

ps:i really getting to hate myself
bzs
i can't do anything
right or well
can't gv what other
expected .
only give disappointment.