just checked my gmail,

and found out that my application is approved but still need to prepare

a lump sum of document to hand in to the officer.

i feel kinda stun and confused now.

30k for 3 years course (6 semester) each semester 4.5k

but i need to return all the money in a length of 15 years.

its kinda long...

but what stuns me the most is that it's like everything

came into me in the same time frame...

make me feel tension...

i start to feel such a way even doing such a small thing for adults i will also feel so stressed out.

what i scare is that i didn't handle all these things with care.

which i scare that will do stupid mistake... =(

i felt a bit useless even doing such little task such as preparing the ptptn loan document and my studies only... while in future how the hell am i gona handle the work loads ??!!

been listening to music with head set to actually release myself

but i think things cant work out quite well....

as most of the song is sad songs causing me to be more 'emo'

feel like shouting at something till i blank out my mind and clear up what i should do...