blank mind

after last week of 4 days exam.
i already feel like crap .
as i know i didn't do it well
because of the lack of study.
but
what i did not expect is that i will get the marks that is so unpredicted.
today i just receive my econs and english marks.
this 2 subject is enough to make my heart broken.
and tml, its acc.
while for acc , i am sure that i will low marks as i did a mistake on it.
but it how low it will be.
and i do hope that it won't be too low ...
i feel like shit.
as i got econs and acc base .
but
i did it so badly.
and i just trow all my HD away.
and this is the 1st time that i get my english mark that low.
low till its so unbelievable .
it just drop all my mood from the sky to the hell.
but who to blame?
blame myself because of laziness?
and not studying ?
but it's the fact that i didn't study hard to put effort in it.
it's undeniable ...

and all those assignments due date ,1 by 1 chasing me ...
just can't focus and think of what is the answer .
my mind is so blank and confused of myself.
what i really want?
what am i doing now?
im at college but not at secondary school anymore.
why is it that i just can't focus in my study ?
why that i can't put down all those things.

it just make me feel so strange in the sense of emotion and my thought.
feel like wanted to just shout out loud till everything from my mind is spilled out
and
just cry out?
but y is it that i can't cry?
or is that i just can't control my emotion as it's already mess up...
everything is so blur now...

really can't even do my EWE and econs assignments.